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Figuring out how you and the other person feel can be confusing or frustrating. You may find that you don't love the other person the way you'd like to; or even at all. Or, you may find that they don't love you the same way you love them.
Have you been in these kinds of confusing or frustrating situations? What have you found to be most difficult? How have you worked through the problem?
If you would like to read more in detail about this topic in my post for WebMD's Relationships blog, click here .
Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.
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I hope you find help there.View Thread


What have you done to increase the passion in your relatioships?
If you would like to read more in detail about this topic in my post for WebMD's Relationships blog, click here .
Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.
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In terms of feeling stronger, it is important for people - you included- to ask themselves what they can do to feel stronger and do better. There are many, many answers to this. For instance, sometimes this means just taking in support. Sometimes it means practicing to search out positive experiences and relationships more. Sometimes it means not knowing, or asking the help of a therapist to figure it out.View Thread


You deserve -- and everyone deserves -- the same sense of feeling like they matter. If you are not getting it in some places, it can help to look for the places where you do get it. With much effort and openness to the message that they do matter, people can learn to feel that this is true for them. They can absorb that this message comes through at differing levels. For instance, a stranger might hold the door for them or ask if they are ok if they trip. A coworker might offer to help when they struggle with something work-related or personal. And when their efforts meet with a bit of good luck, they may find a friend or support system of people who are there on deeper levels. This is true for everyone -- including you. But part of this process is for people to allow themselves to see caring when it happens -- not to dismiss it with their feeling that no one cares. Then they can help themselves by revisiting the caring in their minds and putting themselves back in situations where people are likely to show caring.
Because you have struggled so much, it is important that you have a therapist to help you with this. So, if you don't have one now, please consider reaching out again to find one.View Thread


What do you see as signs that people loves themselves? And what have your struggles been in trying to love yourself?
If you would like to read more in detail about this topic in my post for WebMD's Relationships blog, click here .
Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.
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I hope you found what you were looking for with Dr. Leslie? No one should ever be treated like your daughter treats you! She shows a lack of respect that deserves a slap upside the head! However, I feel she might be trying to make you buck up, or something? What I mean is; be more steady; more sure of yourself, maybe?
I don't know if you should do this or not, but I think you need to just tell her off? Blurt it right out there, get all of your feelings out there in the open with her. Then, listen to what she has to say. You know, talk it out like grown ups? Also, take note of her gestures, mannerism's and such. That can be very telling, too. The main thing to do is to just get it talked out, honestly of course.
There may be crying then?
I wish you the best!
DennisView Thread





What are some of the things you've noticed about your gut reactions? Are they usually as straight forward as they seem, or (upon reflection) do they sometimes reveal other less clear thoughts and feelings?
If you would like to read more in detail about this topic in my post for WebMD's Relationships blog, click here.
Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.
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I wish I could have known you back then, I might still be married if I did? But, as you already know, no matter what I tried, I never got my trust of her back.
I think that if I had been a little more mature at the time, I may have pulled it off? I really tried to regain my trust in women, but my fear of getting cheated on, kept me from trusting again? We were both so, "forget about it", that our chance of getting it out there to discuss, was missed.
The one thing we should have done, we didn't do. We needed to be open and honest with each other, but we didn't. We needed to talk about this, we let that chance just slip away.
If there is one thing I learned from all of that, and talking to the people here, that includes you, too, Dr. Leslie, is to talk it out "together"! We really needed to be open, and trust each other, and not so "closed off" to our feelings. Well, you live and you learn, and boy did I learn!
My thanks to all here, especially Dr. Leslie for her expertise, without which, I may never have learned! Thank you all sooo much!!!View Thread



So, I know what you are going through. Please take Dr. Leslie's advice, please! There are so many ways you can get the help you need. Your first bet would be a women's shelter. Then, you should go to D.H.S., and even your city's county relief office. The county relief office can help you with rent, but I think you need to have a place to actually live in? So, first try your local D.H.S. office first, they can steer you in the right direction. You could even go to your church, if you have one, or the local one, anyway? They will sometimes help people with things like a bus ticket to where ever you want to go. Clothes if you need, and even food? You can qualify for emergency food stamps, and the local welfare could start you on their monthly check, to pay for your housing and utilities. There are just so many places out there to help homeless women that are pregnant, you just need to ask, that's all. The women's shelter can get you all that help themselves.
I wouldn't like to see you lose this baby either! So, you now have no excuse, GET MOVING! Get as far away from this guy as you can! As long as he is controlled by the drugs, he will always be a danger to you, and worse, the baby! No more excuses, GET MOVING NOW!
One thing I want you to understand about addiction, it controls you, it consumes your every thought, it leaves you totally dependent on it. You cannot fix him! Only he can fix himself. Please leave as soon as you possibly can, and don't worry about what tomorrow might bring. Just make sure you and your precious cargo are safe and sound. Cool?
I hope this helps you be brave enough to move for the baby's sake? And please come by as often as you like, we will be happy to help you more, or just listen if you like? K?

DennisView Thread


What are signs you've come to recognize of commitment phobic people? Are you in -- or have you been in -- a relationship with someone who could not commit? How have you handled that? And, if you are a commitment phobic person, maybe you can share your thoughts about this situation.
If you would like to read more in detail about this topic in my post for WebMD's Relationships blog, click here .
Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.
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When you think about the friends whom you most value, what is it about them that tells you that you've hit the friend jackpot?
If you would like to read more in detail about this topic in my post for WebMD's Relationships blog, click here .
Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.View Thread







Lets hope so, someone might need us for our (sic) expertise? LOL! The one true expert we have here, is Dr. Leslie!!!
Okay, I am now ready to help the world, waiting..........View Thread






I felt totally smothered by his mother (she kept wanting to DO things for me...) and she probably felt rejected by me because I kept my distance.
Anyway, she had the keys to our house and would drop in during the day and leave a cake or something on the table for us. I didn't like it but tolerated it for his sake. I was working long hours with endless transport (out at 6 in the morning, home after 9 in the evening) in a highly stressful job. Things came to a head when we got home one Friday evening and found that she had been there. She had done all the ironing, cleaned our bedroom, washed the floors and done the dishes that were sitting waiting in the sink. I sat down on the kitchen floor and wept. I took it like a blow to the heart. I told him that it had to stop and either he could do it his way or I would do it mine...
I don't know what he said but there then followed nearly 6 months of offended silence... We slowly got back in touch, discovered that we had similar interests and started going to exhibitions, castles, shows together

Over the years we developed a really close relationship and you cannot imagine the pain an grief I felt when she died. She was an exceptional woman in every sense possible and I still miss her today ... nearly 10 years later.
With his father it was a bit different. I only really got to know him after my MIL died. Before that he considered me to be a bad influence on her



What has your experience been in dating an extrovert? Or, if you are an extrovert, how have your partners responded to this aspect of your personality?
If you would like to read more in detail about this topic in my post for WebMD's Relationships blog,click here .
Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.
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After that, I received more appointments to the VA hospital nearest to my home. I received a new pair of glasses, which I had needed for years. New hearing aides for both ears, (hardly used them) and other appointments for my overall health. I really appreciated all they had done for me, but I went right back to drinking to drown out my anger over my step father. (The one that murdered my mother.)
Now, with all of that ugliness behind me, (Thank YOU, Dr. Leslie!) And a big THANK YOU too all of my friends here at Web.M.D. Without all of you combined, who knows what might have become of me?
Anyway, thanks Roh, that was sweet of you to do that for the Vets, living, or dead!
D.View Thread




** This is a lot to think about, especially as you help him face his illness. You might find it beneficial to see a therapist to help you sort all of this out.View Thread

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